What will I do if my parents in law are going to stay forever in our house?

[jeralyn p]

And my husband doesnt have to say anything about it, but to agree.My husband once told me that If Ilove him I should also love his parents.. of course I do care for his parents,but not that much because his parents doesnt care for me..they care for my husband and three boys.THey seldom visit us, even when my husband work abroad,if my husband arrived,they visit us and after my husband back again abroad,The cycle goes on until now..I feel anxious moving into our new house instead of feeling excited.MY parents in law might over ruled me,if i take battle against them, my husband will be there armour.Please Help...Is this really a serious problem?I dont want to step out in my house someday...because of my parents in law..

[my dog joey]

You and your husband need to set boundaries and rules before the move happens. You need to have an area that is yours and yours alone, somewhere that you can go to get away when they get on your nerves. You need to make sure that your husband understands that you don't have anything against his parents but that you married him and not them. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, it's going to be your house too. You need to be able to feel at home.

[Jay Seven]

that is a hard one.
well the good thing is they will not life forever
but what you need to do is try to find a common ground with your in laws.
also it is your house
you need to start to talk to your husband
about how you want things done
you are half of that marriage
and have a big say in it
just try your best to work something out with him now before they move in
or then it will be too late

good luck

[medstudent]

I will start being really dry, serious with him. Sitting him down face to face and go with him through the facts. Most important facts. You love HIM. He should love YOU. You TWO are now ONE independent family. You DO care for his parents. You as a wife DESERVE an independent husband and family. You are not against in-laws involvement but against in-laws IMPOSITION. Make it clear to him in short factual sentences what the deal is and ask him if he realizes all of it. You both need to agree and come to a "commitment" or "agreement" which actually that is what marriage is. It is your family now and you are the second pillar of it, so you have rights and responsibilities. Be determined and show determination but love to him and caring for what is imporant to him.
A nice tip is always use "and" instead of "but", the word "but" prepares the person you're talking to to be defensive, "and" always helps you say your opinion as a additional FACT and not something to be discussed

[bluemysti]

You need to really sit down and explain to your husband how you feel. While yes, you do care for his parents, this is your home and if they are going to stay there, there has to be some boundaries that they can not cross. This is your home and they need to respect that and you. If they cannot do this, than they should not be allowed to live in your home. I like my in-laws and generally get along with them for the most part, but there is no way that I would let them live with me for the rest of their lives. I would not even let my own parents live with me forever.

[pete]

tell your hubby to decide if he wants you and his children or his parents- he can pick and you can go on with your life, without him